Confessions of a 34-year-old JAE
When ageism takes an unexpected turn
Despite the clickbait-y title, this was my reality. Actually, my official title was ‘Graduate Account Executive’ but it was essentially the same thing: an entry level role in the PR industry.
Intellectually I knew that my age would be a factor that needed to be navigated carefully, as I was keen to fit in with my new colleagues. Thankfully, due to my height (I’m 5’ 2 on a good day) and relatively youthful appearance, I could essentially fly under the radar without anyone knowing I was over a decade older than others at my level. This suited me fine. Being a minority and often the only Black person in the room, I didn’t welcome another point of differentiation.
In some ways I was right to be wary. I would avoid telling people my age unless asked outright. I made the mistake of telling a group of colleagues during an otherwise uneventful day in the office. The response was stunned silence, followed by a “F*ck off, no way!” and laughs of disbelief. At first, I took it as a compliment that my demeanour has successfully convinced my colleagues that I was like them and essentially ‘in on the joke’. Not so much. The ad hoc invitations to the pub after work dried up unless I was in earshot. Casual conversations about life suddenly centred around anti-ageing skincare and Botox, with a few frantic Teams messages about what sunscreen brand was the best for preventing wrinkles.
I was taken aback by this. As a single, childfree woman living in a flatshare in London, my lifestyle was much closer to my colleagues, yet my life experiences aligned more with the senior staff who socialised in a different way (i.e. on the golf course, at the school gates or at private members clubs). This created a strange disconnect which meant that I didn’t really fit in anywhere. Nowadays, I care a lot less about my age. As a woman in a senior role who is about to turn 44, I learned to make peace with one of the aspects of my life I could never change: my age. Plus, great genetics (thanks Mum!) had reduced the need for interventions so I can keep that money in my bank account. For now.
I’m sure that the above doesn’t surprise you. To be honest, I knew subconsciously that ageism was alive and well in the industry. However, what did surprise me was when I found myself to be the perpetrator.
In my first role – the aforementioned Graduate Account Executive – my line manager was a gregarious, bubbly powerhouse named Becca*. It was the first time I had an actual line manager (this wasn’t a thing when I was a vet, nor was the concept of career progression but I digress) who would be responsible for my development at the company. Becca was a brilliant PR pro: diligent, hardworking, loved by clients and colleagues and an absolutely barrel of laughs. She was also 26 years old.
It's definitely a strange feeling to have someone nearly 10 years younger than you provide career mentorship and advice. I have to admit that it felt wildly uncomfortable at first. After all, I had way more experience in the working world by this point and my fragile ego smarted at being told what to do. However, this is one of the many ego deaths that I had to endure when making a career change. In short, age ≠ experience or competency. You have to adapt a learning mindset which takes in lessons, advice and wisdom from many sources.
Unfortunately, I don’t have a neat actionable list of steps to make you immune to being impacted by or avoid perpetuating ageism. Instead, I’ll leave you with three key learnings to bear in mind when you land your first role in your new life:
Embrace the fact that you won’t know anything when you first start out. You’ll be a blank slate and will need teachers and mentors to guide you while you learn the ropes
Your teachers will not show up in the ways that you’re comfortable with. They’re likely to be younger than you or from a different background, but their knowledge will be invaluable
Keep an open mind. No really, being open to learning from anyone and anywhere will ensure that you evolve with each promotion. I’m regularly taught something new by junior members of staff and I absolutely love having their perspectives
Wishing you a brilliant week.
Until next time,
Andree
*Names have been changed